I have been wrestling a lot with vision for the last few weeks, trying to get a peace and direction for Moldova, the ministry, and the opportunities. It has been a tough time personally, with an unsettleness in my spirit. THAT is not normal for me!
I've always approached things with the idea of "what is the possibility" rather than "these are the obstacles." I see the horizon of what can happen, and even though I don't know all the details of how to get there, I start moving. In hunting terms, when I see the target ahead, I rarely have problems squeezing the trigger!
But why now?
I've prayed and journalled my thoughts. After all, I do not want my vision, but God's vision for the work here.
I questioned if it was due to exhaustion or burnout. Was it misguided searching, trying to find something that makes me feel good? Is is boredom or a short attention span? Perhaps too many focuses, and I need to narrow our focus? Was it past problems or conflicts? Is it God's way of bringing me through a desert, a dry time where I cannot hear His voice?
It could still be fragments of each of those things, but I think I've come to a different conclusion.
It is simply because we are at a different location that years ago, and the horizon stretching before us looks SO different. I am staring at a different view, different challenges, different needs....and I need to adjust my eyes to a different perspective.
7 1/2 years ago, we arrived in Moldova, trying to find our place. We were the only AGWM missionaries here, plowing our way through territory without much guidance. We had the vision to see the kingdom of God expand and His Church grow in Moldova.
- We had the vision to help build leaders and construct buildings.
- 5+ years ago, the vision started to build the home and start the ministry to trafficked women.
- Around 3 years ago, we dreamed about compassion work and clean water wells for villages.
- We dreamed about having a team here to minister together.
And we've been able to see so much of those visions accomplished.
- Freedom Home is built and the ministry is getting solidified.
- 20-30 teams have helped build and construct church buildings.
- We have strong friendships and relationships with countless pastors.
- The well-drilling rig is purchased, with first wells just starting to be put in.
- We have 3 missionary associate couples here right now and 2 fully-appointed missionary families here in addition to us.
And the horizon looks so very different from this vantage point. The plethora of paths leading before us create a different matrix than 7 years ago. It is more complex, but with so much more potential.
What will it look like when the vision we have for Freedom Home is closer? When we have churches and individuals engaged in the issue, praying 24/7, 365 days a year? When we see former residents healed enough to return and minister? When we set the gold standard in all standards, from accounting to counseling; job skill training to discipleship?
What will the work look like if we can partner with pastors to plant another 25, 50, or 100 churches? What about the hundreds of villages that have no church?
What would it be like when our team becomes a TEAM? Where we know each other's faults, but don't care? Where we hold each other mutually accountable, pushing for high standards, but without condemnation?
What needs and opportunities are out there that we haven't even tapped....but God sees.
It is a brand new day, with a brand new horizon. I'm kind of excited about the day's journey.